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This was taken a few weeks ago when Spring’s green fuse was beginning to burn and drive the uncurling, the repeated patters of the fiery fern. Watching this revelation reminds me of the archetypal patterns that are not only in nature but in the deepest reaches of the psyche. One of them is the pain of falling and the joy of finding the uncurling resurrection within that falling.

I write the poem below in 2010 on a trip accompanied by my darling Wilma to Tuscany with the poet David Whyte. It had been the most wonderful week, but somewhere deep, in my unconscious lurking, was the intuition that these great times are never given without a corresponding dark price.

Sure enough it happened, it was the penultimate day and we were going to a lovely lady called Lori’s villa for an al fresco final supper. All the vineyards were surrounded by electric fences as they were ready for harvest, you could feel the ripeness on your tongue. We had to pass though one of these fences and, of course as I stepped through I kicked the stick propping it open and fell on the wire. Now my wife assured me that volts and ohms are different but it gave me a good enough shock. She said you are not going to have a hearth attack are you! And I thought well I wasn’t but now you mention it! Thankfully I didn’t, just an attack of deep humiliation! I then thought – there you go the start of the payment.

The next day we are asked to speak of what we had harvested from the week. I saw it in a glimmer, all these things in my life I took as payments for goodness were not bad, or the calling in of a debt, rather they were another form of blessing. A dark magic that contained more of my good than the so called easy days. I have been brought up sharp by this again recently  – but I still hold true to my faith in falling.

Falling

The Italian week uncurled

like a tight packed fern frond,

each day a new disclosure

replicating an unlooked for

earthy Tuscan generosity.

 

Yet in some cynical corner

of your autobiographical memory

a presentiment of that stomach

churning lurch, that upending

rug pull endured, lurking.

 

Too many early losses

producing a canker of distrust,

a balance sheet approach that says

everything good will have to be

paid for in a painful coinage.

 

As you slid down the hill

on that final day, guard down,

it happened. The electric fence

protecting the ripe vineyard

was propped open with a stick.

 

You crouched and thrust a leg

through the aperture of freedom

only to kick the stick and slip

back, hand and full weight on

the horse kick of shocking current.

 

You knew it immediately for

the moment of retribution,

the payment to the ferryman,

body drumming with energy and

embarrassment, your luck run out.

 

Yet in the circle of reflection

on the morning of departure

you saw all the rug pulls in another

light and a voice said ‘you know

there is great power in your falling’.

 

The providence of upheaval opened

Its generous hand to you, reworking

the territory of the past—exposing

that the presence in loss is the

impudent sprouting of a new life.

 

From ‘Arriving in Magic’ – Purchase here My Site – Photo copyright Adrian G R Scott 

Written by Adrian G R Scott

Adrian G R Scott lives in the Rivelin Valley, Sheffield, he is a poet , writer and amateur photographer. For more www.adriangrscott.com He has studied theology, organisation development and is now working on a PhD in English and Creative Writing at Sheffield University. He has written two books of poetry, one of prose and edited a collection of Poetry by the two writing groups he facilitates. After suffering a breakdown in 2014 he has undergone Jungian Analysis for the last two years. He also facilitates Rites of Passage for men and is fascinated by the stories and poetry that come from holy scriptures, fairy tales and other major world religions. He is especially interested in how we find our way through the world with the help of such stories and poems. ​ His books are available at Buy Books

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